


A Guy Walks into a Bar...

by orphan_account



Series: The Best Damn Avocados [1]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Season/Series 01, a little bit of swearing, bisexual!Foggy Nelson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely based off of the prompt "I pretended to be your gay/lesbian lover because someone was hitting on you and you looked uncomfortable”</p><p>Purely a platonic relationship, a snippet of the lives of our favorite avocados when they were in college.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Guy Walks into a Bar...

Matt waited awkwardly at the bar, sipping slowly on his beer, and listening intently for the sound of a certain long-haired blonde to come barging through the door.

No, the blonde wasn’t his date. The blonde wasn’t even a girl, and while Matt didn’t necessarily have a problem with guys, he generally prefered the way that girls usually smelled and felt, and pretty much everything else actually. According to Foggy he was, “surprisingly straight for a college student.” Foggy also claimed that experimentation was an important and normal  experience. Matt thought that he actually just wanted to set him up with his ex-ex (the guy he had been sort-of-dating before Marci, if sort-of-dating means fucking shamelessly and at ridiculous hours). Regardless, the blonde in question was his roommate. His very, very late roommate.

He opened the face of his watch to check the time again, fingers moving agitatedly over the braille before letting out a frustrated groaning noise. He could hear the man behind the counter let out a pitying sigh, which served only to further frazzle his nerves.

“Don’t worry, man,” said the heavyset bartender, “there are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Great. Not only was Foggy half an hour late for drinks that were _his_ idea to schedule, (“It’ll be fun,” he said. “ We should celebrate,” he said. “After all, aren’t you glad I’m free of Marci the hellbeast?” he queried. Of _course_ Matt had caved and agreed to go to a bar, the kind of unnecessarily noisy place that he had a habit of avoiding during the school year.) but apparently everyone at the bar thought he had been stood up by a date (the romantic/sexual kind, not the platonic kind). _And_ people still used trite phrases like that to try to make him feel better. Lovely.

Matt was usually much more level headed, but he was agitated and one of the few things that could always and without fail get on his nerves was pity.

The words, “I’m not waiting on a girl,” slipped out of his mouth much louder and aggravated, and, well, spoken than Matt would have liked. The bartender shrugged and moved away, muttering something under his breath that Matt was too caught up in Catholic Guilt to notice. In fact, he was so caught up in it he didn’t notice the girl until she was practically standing next to him.

“If you’re not waiting on a girl, then I hope you won’t mind me joining you,” she purred, seductively. She then slipped onto the barstool beside him without waiting for his response. Matt’s mind went blank, and if the girl could see behind his glasses, she would be able to see the fear in his eyes.

 _Great._ Matt thought, _Stranded at a bar, with Kelsi. Just how could my day get any better?_

To clarify, Kelsi was a friend of Marci’s. A friend who had decided that since she had never ‘been with’ a blind guy, Matt should be a person to change that. Matt liked girls. He didn’t like girls who were twisted enough to think that his lack of sight was a good enough reason for them to sleep together.

He briefly wondered if he had any obligation to be polite to her since Foggy and Marci were no longer dating. Unfortunately, he realized, he also had this thing where he couldn’t be mean to people without feeling bad about it later.

“Actually, Kelsi,” he started, doing his best to be polite, “I was waiting on someone, it just wasn’t a girl.”

“Oh my god, Matt,” she said, Matt doing his best to not do the whole “don’t take the Lord’s name in vain”-thing that Foggy liked to tease him about, “You’re just going to meet a friend. Real friends understand when their friends let cute girls take their seats.”

“Actually, you should go. I’m-”

“You really don’t want me here?” Kelsi asked abruptly. 

“Um,” Matt said, wondering which parts of their past conversations had been confusing to her. “Yes.” He chose to take a long drink of his beer to fill the empty silence between them.

“So it’s true,” Kelsi began as Matt began wondering why she hadn’t left yet. He also began contemplating which circle of hell she and Marci had crawled out of, because she had never met two women as obtuse and cruel as they could be, at times. They were both brilliant academically, but… well. Matt began to tune back in to whatever Kelsi was rambling about. “Marci always said she thought you were, I mean, why else wouldn’t you want to sleep with me? I’ve never met a straight guy who didn’t. It all makes-”

“Kelsi, you lost me. What are you even talking about?”

“Um, how gay you are, duh,” she answered, causing Matt to choke on his beer.

“Yes, yes he is.” said another voice from behind them, allowing a dramatic pause before continuing, “For me.”

 _Of course Foggy would choose that moment to enter the conversation,_ Matt thought somewhere in the back of his mind as he tried to keep from falling off his barstool and somehow choking to death, his inability to breathe somehow worse than before. Thankfully, he quickly reigned in his coughing once he was upright. Kelsi looked back and forth between them, before shaking her head and hopping off of the stool

“Marci always thought there was something weird between you two,” Kelsi muttered as she sashayed towards the door.

Foggy and Matt watched (or, really, in Matt’s case heard) her go, waiting silently for the doors of the bar to swing closed behind her before Foggy made a move to sit down. He then picked up a menu, and Matt could feel that he was looking straight at him.

“So, lover,” Foggy said in a low, seductive voice, “What are you drinking tonight?” The silence sat heavy between them, before, of course, they both broke out laughing and cackling like maniacs. It took them a full five minutes for them to sort-of regain their composure, and they still both had idiotic shit-eating grins on their faces.

“Foggy, that was little bit beautiful.”

“I know, I should totally get an Oscar.”

“But Foggy, and I mean this lovingly and from the bottom of my heart, at the risk of sounding like one of the frat boys we usually snark about: no homo, bro.”


End file.
